A Life of Sacrifice
by alreadyover
Summary: On the day before Sasuke's retrieval, Naruto reflects his actions and motives. Short oneshot. [NaruSaku] I guess.


Disclaimer: Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable Naruto characters, settings, etc. are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and Shueisha Inc. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

**A Life of Sacrifice**

Naruto jerked awake with a start, drenched in sweat, kunai in hand already in a defensive posture. He noted his surroundings, quickly reminding himself of where he was and sensing no danger, slowly put away his weapon. He gave a weak sigh. Another nightmare. Although there was a campfire going, the light did little to illuminate the distressed frown forming across his countenance. It had been a while since he had slept well at night. Despite the fact that most of the time he trained himself into the ground until he was completely exhausted on the brink of consciousness, he never got much rest. And though he never voiced his worries or doubts and carried himself with an air of confidence, the truth was they did exist and seemed to cross over constantly into his subconscious. Not to mention also that sometimes his dreams were haunted with gruesome fights full of blood and corpses.

_Such is the life of ninja_, he thought wryly.

"Naruto? You're still awake." More of a statement than a question.

His thoughts had been interrupted by his pink haired teammate. He glanced over to her, watching her poke the fire with a stick. Naruto shrugged as he made his way to her. "Just couldn't fall asleep. One of those days y'know?" he offered with a weak smile. It wasn't that he wanted to hide his own problems from her for she would talk to him about hers- they rarely hid anything from each other these days-, but he just didn't want her to worry about small problems. She had enough to think about already and didn't need to add her friend's nightmare problems on top of that list.

"Ah..." came her reply, "You should still try to sleep. You don't want to get sick do you? I will beat you if I have to take care of you just because you didn't _feel_ like sleeping." He chuckled softly; that was probably the medic in her speaking. He couldn't tell whether she accepted his answer or knew something was wrong and chose not to pursue it. It was probably the latter. Sakura always was perceptive and bright on picking up this type of stuff.

They sat in a comfortable silence, each of them engrossed in his or her own thoughts. They didn't need to keep a conversation going because they simply didn't have to; just being there next to each other provided enough comfort and support for the both of them. Such actions could only be boasted by close friends.

Staring deeply into the campfire, Naruto let his thoughts drift to his latest nightmare. Haku. It had been a while since the incident at the waves and the desperate fight on the bridge, but every now and then, thoughts of Haku would still visit him. It wasn't because some of his ignorance faded on that day. That part was true though. After that battle, Naruto began to see that maybe a ninja's life wasn't always about glamour and glory. It was instead perhaps one filled with heartache, struggle, and pain. After the Valley of the End and Sasuke's betrayal, that ignorance was swept away completely. But that was okay. He and Sakura endured it together. It was one of the reasons why they were so close. They shared each others pains; they carried them together. But no, that wasn't why he dreamt of Haku. And he sure as hell didn't think of him because he thought it was some grand accomplishment. Sure he could have bragged to his friends that he and his team, still rookie genins and completely green, completed a C-rank mission turned A-rank. Naruto was in all actuality, a humble person. Though he often makes sure no one is unaware of his 'awesome' skills-something he does to annoy and poke at people-, he never speaks much of his deeds. But even if he was that type of person, he still wouldn't boast about that mission to the Wave. It was a somber victory and its lessons bitter to swallow. Haku never really seemed the enemy.

He closed his eyes in reflection and pain.

He had dreamt he was there again. Images that he had tried his hardest to forget, but ones that would probably stay with him for the rest of his life. Haku's body impaled on Kakashi's arm. That eerie smile adorning his very dead face. Kakashi's shock. Zabuza's smirk. He had never seen so much blood… all Haku's blood…still dripping to the ground. The very air saturated with desperation and despair, the smell of blood, sweat, and tears all combining into an unbelievable stench. He had to fight the urge to vomit right there. His knees weakening, a voice in his head panicking wondering how it had come to this. No, he would never forget what happened on _that_ day.

…_If we'd met under different circumstances, we might've become friends…_

_When a person has something important to protect… That's when they can truly become strong…_

Naruto opened his eyes, letting them wander down to his hands, and wondered when he had clenched his fists. Any harder and his nails would have dug through his skin. He noticed Sakura was looking at them too with a concerned expression on her face. He quickly rubbed his hands together and gave her a sheepish grin.

"Just realized I forgot to pack ramen…" he tried. He didn't really expect her to take it, but it was the first thing that he could think of and hey, he had to try something. An accusing voice from somewhere told him that he was trying to bear his own burdens again, just like in the past, and how it got him nowhere. He shot back that it wasn't a big deal.

"Uhuh…" Sakura practically snorted, the tone dripping with disbelief. She gave a sad smile and turned to the fire. He knew she knew something was bothering him, but was thankful she didn't press the matter. And instead another silence enveloped them.

He realized that he had been living to Haku's advice ever since their first meeting in the forest. He glanced discreetly over at his teammate. In a way, he had gotten stronger because he had trained and fought for her. He had lived to protect her happiness. Sure, he wanted Sasuke back as much as she did but the reason why he had tried so hard was because of her. He had accepted his relationship with her long ago, content with staying close friends, forcing the part of him that wanted more into the recesses of his mind. It was okay he had to tell himself constantly, _better than nothing_. A bitter pill to swallow. Her happiness came first and he would do anything to preserve it. That's why he had not hesitated in his 'promise of a lifetime'.

_Sakura-chan, you really like Sasuke huh? _

_I know how much pain you're in because of Sasuke. _

_I can understand. _

_Don't worry I'll bring him back! _

_Promise of a lifetime!_

They weren't simply meaningless words to calm down a crying girl. They were real, even now reverberating in his mind, constantly pushing him to exceed his limits. They were what brought him to where they were now, on a mission so very close to Sasuke. He had even put his own dream of becoming Hokage on a permanent hold. They would succeed this time without a doubt. Because this time, he would lay it all down just to bring Sasuke back, his own life if necessary.

Because it was a promise of a _life_ really… his life. He had not regretted this decision at all nor had he hesitated at giving it away. He never shared these thoughts because he knew others might not agree to them. They would plead with him to not throw away his life so rashly. But it was a lesson of sacrifice. Just like Haku who gave his all away to protect his most precious person, he would do the same for Sakura because she was one of his.

He realized it then sitting there by Sakura, instinctively, that he would not survive this.

He knew he would die. He had heard many ninja get such… premonitions on the eve of battle. Sometimes they were wrong, but most of the time, they came true. He eyed the fire somberly, some of the sparks dancing out of the flame only to quickly extinguish in the quiet of the night. And yet… that was okay as long as Sakura was happy. It was odd how unconcerned he felt. Perhaps deep down, he had already known, the 12-year old declaring his death back then. He felt a calmness overcome him as he accepted it. If it happens, it happens he told himself. He was never one to dwell on the morbid for long.

"Ne, Sakura-chan, what are you thinking about?" he asked. He relished the moment as his eyes met her soft gaze. It would be one of the last times he would probably see her again. He almost winced at this realization.

She gave him a weak smile, "I was wondering about tomorrow…I don't know what's going to happen…" She left her statement lingering, with a sort of uncertainty in the air. He frowned at this. She was doubting herself again. If she were someone else, he wouldn't know how to react, probably stand back and laugh at the silliness of it all, an apprentice of the legendary Sannin who can practically demolish mountains in a few punches feeling inadequate. But this was Sakura, and he knew exactly how she felt, because he felt the same. They always were so similar.

He grabbed the stick that she was playing with earlier and started poking the fire. "I wouldn't worry about it much, Sakura-chan," he said gently, but then with a twinkle in his eye, "With your freak of nature super strength and all… it's already a done deal." He grinned at her, waiting for a response. It was one of his favorite things to do; he always got a kick out of messing with Sakura. It wasn't sadistic at all he thought with scoff.

To her credit, all he remembered seeing was a slight twitch in her eye and then instantly feeling his face eat the ground. "Ouch Sakura-chan, that hurt, not only physically but also emotionally. I think… I could be scarred for life," he mumbled playfully while vigorously rubbing the back of his head.

She smirked, offering a hand to help him up. "What'd I say bout that freak of nature and super strength stuff? In fact, I'm not sorry at all," sticking her tongue out him, "You deserved it." She snickered as he turned his back to her and pouted, folding his arms across his chest.

"So mean Sakura-chan!" he mock whined. She laughed softly. He was glad for that, to be able to take her mind off of stressful things and bring a smile to her face. It made him feel relaxed and oddly complete.

After another pause, he turned to her seriously. There was one thing that he wanted to make sure she knew. "Sakura-chan," he looked at her gently, "No matter what you think. No matter what anyway else says. You are strong." He saw her eyes widen in surprise. "You are the strongest person I know. And no matter what happens, I want you to know that; that I acknowledge you with all my heart. I know you always think that you're weak or … but you are strong. I don't think you realize how strong you've been, how strong you are! I believe in you. You'll get through this… We'll get through this…?" his voice almost cracking with emotion as his words became incoherent mumbles to the ear. He suddenly found himself unwilling to look up from the ground.

He found himself suddenly trying to keep balanced as he was held in a fierce hug. He could sense the tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. "Thanks…Naruto. For always being there for me," she whispered softly. He would never know how much she needed those words.

"Anytime Sakura-chan," he managed to choke out. _Anything for you. Always._ After a pregnant pause, "But seriously though, lay off the super strength on hugs, you're killing me,"

She pulled back from her hug, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Ruin the moment more. Idiot," she murmured fondly. They once again fell into a comfortable silence, each simply enjoying the others' presence. Naruto gazed calmly at the fire once again, basking in the moment.

After a while, Sakura turned to him, her voice uncertain as she struggled to find the words to say, "Naruto…I…"

He put a finger to her lips, noting dryly that if it happened any other time he would get a serious beating accompanied with shouts of "Pervert!" He kept his eyes locked on hers. "You should get some sleep," he interrupted her gently, "Big day tomorrow. You can tell me another time. I'll take the rest of your watch. Just get some rest okay?" As he watched her disappointed figure get up, he let out a sad sigh.

He sat there for the rest of the night, simply reflecting. Maybe just this once, he regretted his promise of a lifetime. That he wouldn't get to spend more time with her.

* * *

A/N: 

First off thanks for reading this! I am always on the lookout for improvement, so any constructive criticism would be much appreciated.

This was something that I just wrote one day as I was sitting around the house. As I reread this, I couldn't help but think along the lines of "Oh yeah, that's why I don't write again..." Ah hah. Writing has never been my forte. It's actually one of the subjects I'm weakest at. I've never really just sat down and wrote before and I think it shows in this specific piece. I struggled a bit because I felt I had to make a serious effort in forming sentences, concentrating on digging into my rusty diction/sentence structure skills still back in the passive parts of my mind, a part of inexperience i figure. But that's part of why I'm starting to do this. To get better.

IMO the story feels a bit choppy. Fine, very choppy. And the characters are a bit OOC, but cmon, it's right before the big retrieval. They have to be nervous or they wouldn't be _human _. Besides i find it hard to believe that Naruto is all peachy 24/7.


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